A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn`t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, `Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this Parrot?` The parrot says, `I was born this way. I`m a defective parrot.` `Holy crap,` the guy replies. `You actually understood and answered me!` `I got every word,` says the parrot. `I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird.` `Oh yeah?` the guy asks, `Then answer this - how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?` `Well,` the parrot says, `this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can`t see it because of my feathers.` `Wow,` says the guy. `You really can understand and speak English can`t you?` `Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I`m especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I`d be a great companion.` The guy looks at the 0 price tag. `Sorry, but I just can`t afford that.` `Pssssssst,` says the parrot, `I`m defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don`t have any feet. You can probably get me for , just make the guy an offer!`
The guy offers and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot issensational. He has a great sense of humor, he`s interesting, he`s a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he`s insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes: `Psssssssssssst,` and motions him over with one wing. `I don`t know if I should tell you this or not, but it`s about your wife and the postman.` `What are you talking about?` asks the guy. `When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately.` `WHAT???` the guy asks incredulously. `THEN what happened?` `Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,` reported the parrot. `Oh No!,` he exclaims. `Then what?` `Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down....` `WELL,` demands the frantic guy, `THEN WHAT HAPPENED?` `Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!`
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